Paris Fashion Week Spring Summer 2014 Runway Show - Part II of II

1) Tsumori Chisato Spring Summer 2014

Tsumori Chisato's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection was filled with strange Asian characters - Vietnamese rice padi field farmers and Chinese opera actresses. Caucasian models were made to look like they had smaller eyes than usual with bad orange make-up.

Needless to say, the clothing were ridiculous like the tangled seaweed in a fishing net dress by Tsumori Chisato.

Japanese fashion designer Tsumori Chisato who's well known for designing bad clothing that made normal people wearing them look like clowns.

2) Vivienne Westwood Spring Summer 2014
Vivienne Westwood joins the rest of ageing fashion designers who grow increasingly apart from the real world and what fashion really is about.

Fashion definitely isn't about looking like a freckly clown in a strange Qing dynasty Empress Dowager headress + your mom's lace curtain which you accidentally dyed green while washing whites with colours, not to mention a bad tartan print Doc Martens boot design.

Thrift-store tastic at the Vivienne Westwood Spring Summer 2014 runway show.

3) Comme des Garçons Spring Summer 2014
As the dengue fever outbreak envelopes Singapore and creeps slowly to the rest of the world, Comme des Garcons decided to build a massive dress that resembled a seven-foot food tent or effective mosquito net in a basket shape. Shame it would be perfect for preventing dengue and malaria outbreaks if only it was long enough to cover the feet.

The haze which hit Singapore at an all-time record high in June and smog pollution in China every other day inspired Comme des Garcons to design a wearable gas mask and matching gas mask shoes that would work perfectly with any hazmat suit of your choice.

Love the Comme des Garcons painted on cute animal design sneakers. Not so sure about the massive pink floral print teddy bear stuck to the chest of what looks like an abominable tumour outfit.

4) Jean Paul Gaultier Spring Summer 2014
Jean Paul Gaultier got fascinated with candy while designing his Spring Summer 2014 runway collection. Even prints of actual hundreds and thousands sprinkles and hard colourful rock candy could not save his destitute collection.

Korean model Soo Joo Park wears Jean Paul Gaultier's dull colour design for Spring Summer.

5) Kenzo Spring Summer 2014
What does a fashion designer do when they run out of ideas and produce yet another all-white ensemble? Answer: They start adding grey patches and think it looks cool. Kenzo's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection was unfortunately anything but cool.

Kenzo runway models wore bad fishing hats that Japanese tourists love to wear.

The Japanese love their fish and so does Kenzo.

6) Celine Spring Summer 2014
Celine's designer Phoebe Philo like many other Western designers look to the East for inspiration as things look more and more dire in the West.

Naturally, westerners tend to interpret Asia in a vastly different light than the native residents themselves. This strange South Korean flag plastered on a white Tee fraying everywhere with a patched on pocket looks like a beggar's outfit. South Korea is doing really fine, thank you Phoebe Philo.

It's not just the eyebrows on this Celine runway model that looks puzzling. Perhaps the windy red train tracks print on the lantern pleated skirt describes this whole train-wreck of an outfit.

Notice how the massive hair weave on the arm of this Celine model becomes a real hair replacement for one of the more unfortunate member of audience at the Celine Spring Summer 2014 runway show.

7) Maxime Simoëns Spring Summer 2014
Next Spring Summer, make it all silver, shiny and full of hope like this reflective belted fringe silver dress from Maxime Simoens.

We love handy zippers for pockets, closures and just for pure aesthetic design and no other reason just like at the bottom of this Maxime Simoen silver tuxedo jacket.

8) Chloe Spring Summer 2014
Chloe is synonymous with understated laid-back luxury. A simple green quilted parka, silk blouse and bermudas paired with leather cross strap platform shoes make a perfect casual yet cool outfit.

We love this Sahara belle look from Chloe's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection.

A simple sweater and shorts can look good if they are of the right material and cut just like this grey over-sized Chloe sweater and white shorts with gold flake embroidery on supermodel Bette Franke.

Work-wear and comfy clogs that go together from Chloe's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection.

Chloe's designer Claire Waight Keller representing the label.

9) Givenchy Spring Summer 2014
Halloween comes early for Givenchy as models strut down the Givenchy Spring Summer 2014 runway in crystal studded face masks that look more creepy than cool.

A fetish bondage inspired silk jersey dress from Givenchy's Spring Summer 2014 runway show.

10) Stella McCartney Spring Summer 2014
Stella McCartney should start a clothing range for pregnant women. Stella's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection was filled with parachutes, pyjama pants and clothing that any body can disappear into.

Stella McCartney cat eye sunglasses that resemble binoculars.

It's troubling to see how so many designers use cottage lace curtains to make their "high-end" luxury apparel.

11) Sacai Spring Summer 2014
As shapeless as it's pointless is this over-sized orange shirt dress from Sacai's Spring Summer 2014 runway collection.

Layering gone wrong: the pink skirt looks more like an apron worn over a skirt.

Blue and white stripes and an apron screams more Denny's diner than high fashion.

Sacai's Japanese designer Chitose Abe in exciting head to toe black.

12) Emanuel Ungaro Spring Summer 2014
Emanuel Ungaro's Spring Summer 2014 runway clothes looked like those I pulled out from the very depths of my mother's clothes cupboard - things she never wore from the 70s and should have been burnt if not for the sentimental value. 

Unlikely You strongly recommends its fans to avoid polka dot yellow and white clown combinations such as the above from Emanuel Ungaro.

Supermodel Snejana Onopka makes a comeback at the Emanuel Ungaro Spring Summer 2014 runway show in high-waist leather shorts that take away half her height.

CAUTION!!: Do NOT wear clothes that make even runway supermodels look fat.

Jamie Bochert looks like a giant footless sea slug moving along the bottom of the sea bed with its wavy muscles straight out of National Geographic.

13) Giambattista Valli Spring Summer 2014
Giambattista Valli tried to play with shapes and volumes for the Spring Summer 2014 runway collection. However, he chose the wrong undergarment - granny high waist panties when runway models don't need the extra cover-up help.

This Giambattista Valli dirty grey coat looks like it fell out from a trash collector's bin complete with scraggly bits of trash and last night's popcorn.

14) Valentino Spring Summer 2014
Valentino's Spring Summer 2014 runway show was filled with bad hair that transformed even supermodel Cara Delevingne into a granny. The long dresses had cheap and tacky looking prints and it looked as if Valentino was trying to copy Dolce & Gabbana's Fall Winter 2013 royal look runway collection.

It's my 80th birthday milestone. - Cara Delevingne looks substantially aged in bad hair and an over-powdered face.

15) Saint Laurent Spring Summer 2014
Saint Laurent's Spring Summer 2014 collection sticks to the rock & roll theme for yet another season. It's starting to get a little tiresome; just like Apple's smartphones, their innovation is completely lacking.

16) Chanel Spring Summer 2014
We often marvel at how Chanel never fails to make top models look the worst they could possibly be with badly styled wigs - this one looking like you just got up from the bed with a German helmet although we all know designer Karl Lagerfeld is German.

Chanel's exceptionally bad tweed jacket and skirt.

Chanel made Lindsey Wixon look like she's wearing a colourful plastic bag in the wind.

Chanel's gaudy pink tweed long dress. Sometimes we wonder if Chanel does deliberately bad hair and make-up to distract people from the bad or bland looking apparel.

Chanel tries for the handmade look with bright blue big stitching all-over a shift dress which look like what 12 year olds do for their Home Economics class.

Chanel trying to stay cool with the kids with a spray painted backpack and i-Phone chain pouch from the Chanel Spring Summer 2014 collection.

17) Valentin Yudashkin Spring Summer 2014
Russian fashion designer Valentin Yudashkin is a truly creative soul as he sends models down the runway in dresses one can only dream of.

Royalty is gold.

18) Jean-Charles de Castelbajac Spring Summer 2014

19) Paul & Joe Spring Summer 2014
Tomboy cool is always in. Lindsey Wixon in a "Paul" initial Paul & Joe Spring Summer 2014 runway sweatshirt.

20) Alexander McQueen Spring Summer 2014
Alexander McQueen's disappointing, lacklustre, in-between creative and bizarre Spring Summer 2014 runway collection.

This Alexander McQueen red dress looks like it's made out of floor rugs and the Roman soldier helmet is just out of place with the apparel.

21) Louis Vuitton Spring Summer 2014
Fashion is meant to be fun and full of surprises. Sometimes even the most hardcore fashion lover would put on something impractical in the name of fashion.

However the Louis Vuitton Spring Summer 2014 runway collection was filled with not only impractical but shameful and distasteful "clothes" that made models look like pieces of meat on sale. It seems Louis Vuitton is keeping up the prostitute theme since the release of their controversial Fall Winter 2013 advertising campaign. 

Hanne Gaby Odiele looks uncomfortable as she wears a ridiculous and impractical design which barely covers her nether regions.

Louis Vuitton Spring Summer 2014 runway show was a flesh parade and maybe a cover-up for a European black market sex auction where young girls (in this case models) are kidnapped and drugged or forced against their will to become rich people's commodity.

22) Miu Miu Spring Summer 2014
Miu Miu's Spring Summer 2014 collection was filled with innocent school girl outfits in not so innocent patent leather mini-skirts, shorts and a beautiful clear round neck choker.

Miu Miu sequin green tall boots inject fun into Spring Summer 2014.

23) Vionett Spring Summer 2014

24) Zadig & Volataire Spring Summer 2014

25) Hermès Spring Summer 2014


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